Little Green Footballs

Saturday, April 28, 2007

Giving up on Iraq

Legendary Iraqi blogger Riverbend has finally decided that it's time to leave the country.

Let this serve as an epitaph for the insane dreams of the neocons:

I always hear the Iraqi pro-war crowd interviewed on television from foreign capitals (they can only appear on television from the safety of foreign capitals because I defy anyone to be publicly pro-war in Iraq). They refuse to believe that their religiously inclined, sectarian political parties fueled this whole Sunni/Shia conflict. They refuse to acknowledge that this situation is a direct result of the war and occupation. They go on and on about Iraq's history and how Sunnis and Shia were always in conflict and I hate that. I hate that a handful of expats who haven't been to the country in decades pretend to know more about it than people actually living there.

I remember Baghdad before the war- one could live anywhere. We didn't know what our neighbors were- we didn't care. No one asked about religion or sect. No one bothered with what was considered a trivial topic: are you Sunni or Shia? You only asked something like that if you were uncouth and backward. Our lives revolve around it now. Our existence depends on hiding it or highlighting it- depending on the group of masked men who stop you or raid your home in the middle of the night.

Oh, but the U.S. captured an Iraqi Al-Qaeda bigwig today, so it was all worth it.

P.S.: The al-Qaida big-wig was captured last year.

P.P.S.: Charles mentions Egyptian blogger 'Sandmonkey' quitting, but not Riverbend leaving Iraq. Any idea why?

P.P.P.S: That was a rhetorical question.


Anonymous said...

I'm always surprised how many of Bin-Ladin's 'Number two' guys keep getting caught with great fanfare and publicity by the Preznit.

Al-Qaeda - is that organization top heavy or what?

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

An LGFer ponders the future:

"I can imagine some weaker countries such as Norway or Sweden quietly cave in the sharia"

I can imagine beautiful women coming to my house for meaningless sex but, sadly, it never happens.

Perhaps Charles could dish out some sort of annual award for the LGFer with the most active imagination?

What's strange is that someone will predict the imminent end of a European country (England, France Spain, Belgium, changes by the hour) but few other LGFers will argue against the stupid notion that Europeans are about to vote en masse for Hardline Islamic parties to govern them or that Europeans will be taken over by a military attack from armed Islamists.

(Does anyone at LGF realise that it's our troops, tanks, planes and missiles over there and not the other way round?)

One American LGFer is all geared up, anyway:

"I don't know what to say to this than "where's my gun?" I'll need it for the fight that is coming."

Seems that not only are Muslims just about to conquer Europe, they've also heading to America too.

It's all very exciting.

AM said...

From the Angry Arab site:

An aide to a driver of a bodyguard of an assistant to a commander of an Al-Qa`idah cell was captured. Bin Laden and his deputy are still in hiding.

Anonymous said...

An aide to a driver of a bodyguard of an assistant to a commander of a cell?!

Lol. Were nearly there! Only 6 degrees of separation. We could save some time if we just arrest Kevin Bacon. He must know something.

Legalize said...

"I can imagine some weaker countries such as Norway or Sweden quietly cave in the sharia"

Srsly. I can imagine a scenario where I am playing left field for the Yankees next year. It involves Hideki Matsui converting to Islam and recruting every single other qualified ball player on the planet to do the same. Next, because I am a big fan, the Steinbrenner says "fuck it;" let's give him a contract and bat him 5th in the lineup.

Anonymous said...

The Muslims are everywhere. I walked into a Tescos the other day and there was a Muslim woman behind the counter! Just standing there. I don’t know how she got the job. Maybe she hypnotized the owner.
Anyway I was immediately suspicious so I walked up and down the aisles pretending to buy stuff while I watched her over the tins of beans and tubes of Pringles.

She was obviously trained in counter surveillance because she seemed to be behaving like any other shop assistant and just serving people as they came in. Maybe she saw me defending our freedom by monitoring her and decided to act normal. I can’t be sure. They can be wily sometimes these Muslims.

I walked around the aisles and hid behind the newspaper stand for about 10 minutes and didn’t take my eyes off her once. I could see her moving behind the counter through a stack of the News of the Worlds.

The thing about the really observant brainwashed Muslim women is that they try whenever possible to avoid touching men. When she gave me the change for my pork sausages, Christian Times, pork scratchings and Alcohol, she didn’t place it in my hand like any normal Christian. She gently and expertly dropped it into my palm without touching my hand. I was outraged! This isn’t Talibanistan. I grabbed her by the wrist and looked into her eyes and screamed ‘Why do you hate America?’ as loud as I could.

I left the shop and hid over the road in a neighbors garden so I could follow her home and make sure she wasn’t planning anything. Unfortunately I fell asleep in the bushes and didn’t wake up till and some police officer started kicking my legs. Shed already gone home.
I panicked at first thinking something terrible might have happened while I was asleep and I rushed home to check LGF for news about Muslims. Nothing had happened in my Tescos so everything is still ok. I must have foiled them.

Charles Johnson is right. They are trying to TAKE OVER.

Anonymous said...

^^ Holy shit ROFLMAO