Little Green Footballs

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Caption Contest!


Steve said...

Ick. Look at the manboobs on Johnson! That pajamaline moolah has him really packing it on.

Shan said...

Ironically, Charles continues his campaign against Islamo-Whatsit-Thingies with two women who could perhaps benefit from the slimming properties of a burkha.

A.Q. said...

I'd save you too ladies from the coming Islamofacist theocracy anytime!


Maybe Burkas aren't such a bad idea after all.

PCS said...

Johnson is a long haired hippie???!!!

adultmalebluegrouse said...

Caption, Is he thinking:

'God. I hope they hate Muslims or I'll have nothing to talk about..'

johnny Ha Ha said...

Wow, CJ is as fat, ugly, dirty, unkempt and disgusting as I'd always imagined. Y'know when you read most peoples writing, and you imagine them to look a certain way and they look totally different?

Well, when you read something by CJ, you get an impression of a slob, a weak minded dirt bag who is having a hell of a hard time getting old.

No wonder he lords over his suck-up hate group minions. Any shrink will tell you, he's got SUPREME power on LGF, and enjoys it, because he's as weak as piss in real life. He's old, sad, probably drinks himself to sleep.

I guess he always imagined himself as some kind of a hero, fighting the good fight, when he was young, a champion jazz musician or something. Now he hits 50 (though he looks older), and he realises:

"Shit, I'm fat, unmarried, poorly dressed, and I have no friends except a few people who post on my weblog. I'll be dead soon and none of my dreams were ever realised. Life sucks. All those leftist wankers who I used to idolize are so happy, they actually ENJOY life. Well fuck them. I'm going to backlash.

The only way (aside from paying fatties to stand in photos with me) that I'll ever be able to convince myself, and others, I have friends, is to make my blog a place for the psycho right wing fringe elements to congregate."

So he does just that. Now he's the Fuhrer over at the LGF, with hundreds of users who would suck him off just to hear him announce, 'Bomb Mecca and kill all filthy dog subhuman Muslims!"

Possibly that's what's about to happen.

A sad individual, a failed musician and a failed person. A very successful bigot and a very successful slob.

Now we have a true insight into this guys mind

An ugly failed artist with no friends and no life. Who started a hate group. Whose patrons would do anything for him. Who has developed a cult status. Whose minions constantly refer to him as their leader and who refer to themselves as his subordinates. Who made himself leader by espousing radically right wing views.

Furthermore by picking on a minority group who may or may not have been religious (North African youths, Muslims, its all the same to Chuckie), who originated in the Middle East and are of semetic origin, calling them subhuman, and advocating their extermination.*********************

WOW. Sounds EERILY familiar, huh?

Of course the Nazi insult is cliched, especially when wingnuts use it, obviously unaware of the fact that Nazis were FAR RIGHT WING, not left wing.

But while it is cliched, sometimes its not used as an insult.

In this case, I use the comparison to show just how frighteningly similar these two individuals, Chuckie and Adolf, and their respective hate groups, really are. Its uncanny.

Lucky for us, we may be very thankful that these sad individuals are shunned by society, and thus confine themselves to the Internet.

THis photo makes us see why.

Ahh chuckie, you ubermensch, you superhuman. Damn, if this guy is their finest specimen, I'd hate to see their worst.

johnny Ha Ha said...

Caption to come, BTW..but yeah, my little rant came out after several minutes of laughter, a great photo, seriously. We need more of these.

I can't wait for the Photoshop contest!

johnny Ha Ha said...

Caption 1:

Auditions opened today for The Biggest Conservative Loser: contestants included Rush Limbaugh, Karl Rove, and weblog 'heavy' Charles Johnson (pictured).

Caption 2:

'Are those real?'

A snapshot of Modern America, three women compare vintage wines, hairstyles and breast-sizes.

Caption 3:

'But I thought Charles was a man's name.'

CJ takes a moment to try and figure out the implications of the comment.

Caption 4:

Three people pose for a Weight loss advertisement:

'Before, after, and WAY before!'

Caption 5:

'No, I wasn't too scared to join the Army. I was too fat!'

Charles finally finds a use for his obesity.

Caption 7:

You may be too fat to shoot Muslims, but you're NEVER too fat to run an Internet site about it!


Anyway that's all...crude, sure, but an exercise in eloquence when put up against the stuff over at LGF.

Funny, Charles put up a photo series the other day, full of unflattering Ted Kennedy images. I'd like to see one of Charles...

That'd scare me off junk food for life!

01-811-8055 said...

"Time is short! We *must* start breeding now, ladies!"

phleabo said...

"Heh. Girls make my pee-pee feel funny."

Johnny Mainstream said...

CJ: "Thank Christ there's no official Republican stance on using roofies on fat chicks. Because even for me, this is pretty low."

Shan said...

Couldn't resist, some more

"So, is that an Islamofascist in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?"

"Dumb, dumber, and 'Jesus H. Christ, is this guy a fucking moron or what?'"

"In America, first you get the blog. Then you get the power. Then you get the women."

"This isn't French wine, is it? 'Cause I'm gonna get real fucking upset if this shit is French."

"Wow, that's totally interesting, I didn't know women's sizes went into three digits."

" crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of the women...MOM...I told you, when I'm in the basement with friends, don't come down here. Gawd, mom can be so annoying sometimes."

[courtesy of Tucker Max]:

Winston Smith said...

Quiz, find the five tits in this photo.

David Heidelberg said...

Hi, we have no friends, so we hate everyone.

Al said...

Is this the guy who rides a bicycle over 50 miles on weekends against “fascist headwinds“, in the hills of SOCAL? It really is Lah Lah Land like his blog.

adultmalebluegrouse said...

lol @ Al.

I heard Chuckie has a cycle sports emulator on his Apple Mac.

He doesnt get time to go real cycling.

Steve said...

Al, yes, as I commented in a later thread, it is hard to square his derring-do tales of bike-sprints up Palos Verdes with the reality of his plump, dowager-like figure. And his long silky hair.