Little Green Footballs

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

The power of nightmares

How thoroughly deranged are the lizards, now they're finding jihadis under every bed?

Pamela* 6/6/2006 09:03PM PDT

oh God, I am planning on going to Finland for Christmas. scarey [sic].

What's so frightening about Finland in December? Apparently, it's the fact that it borders Norway, which according to rumors passed along by a friend of some other lizard, is crawling and seething with Islamists who are on the verge of declaring shari'a law.

So because some Wahhabist idiots in Oslo are pining for burqas and beheadings, the geopolitical genuises over in lizard-land are convinced that anyone visiting anyplace within a 2000-mile radius is in imminent danger of -- well, we're not sure what, but in reality the biggest dangers facing any visitor to Finland in December are likely to be hypothermia and rapid impoverishment, in a land where a pint of Guinness costs €7.

Oh, and another thing: this Pamela* isn't visiting big, bad, scary Helsinki, where there are refugees from Somalia (eek!) and Iraq (ack!) and even a couple of mosques (omigodwereallgonnaDIE!!!1!):
my destination is Kemi, Finland. 1 hour south of the arctic circle, and near Roviemi [sic] where Santa lives.

One pictures a small, fearful, cringing, parka-clad lady creeping about the dark streets of a small Lappish town in midwinter, feverishly scanning every face and sign and building for signs of the dreaded Eurabian apocalypse. One also imagines that this Pamela* will proceed to make an utter fool of herself by broadcasting her fears to every Finn she meets.

Hyvää matkaa!**

* not the Pamela, as far as we can tell
** Bon voyage!

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