Are you an American citizen between the ages of 35 and 40? Do you love our country and our Leader, and do you want to help keep us safe from the twin scourges of Islamo-fascism and fascist Islamism? Have you ever driven past a recruitment office and sighed, "Golly, I wish I could join up, but I'm just too darn old"?
Well, have we ever got good news for you!
The US Army said Wednesday it has raised its maximum enlistment age from 35 to 40 years old and is doubling signing up bonuses to a high of 40,000 dollars.
The measures are the latest in a series of steps the army has taken over the past year to offset a slump in recruiting as it faces ongoing campaigns in Iraq and Afghanistan.
The army failed to hit its recruiting goal of 80,000 new recruits in fiscal 2005. Recruiting figures have since improved but the the war in Iraq has made it difficult to meet the demand for fresh soldiers.
So what are you waiting for?? Annoy a liberal traitor -- join the Army today! And when you get to Iraq, don't forget to send a postcard to Rep. Murtha.
(This message is not brought to you by Little Green Pajamas Media Footballs, which has yet to mention this incredible opportunity for you to serve your country, or indeed to enlist any military advertisers. Why do they hate America?)