Little Green Footballs

Saturday, October 22, 2005

Rory speaks

Let's see how Charles spins Rory Carroll's account of his recent, and mercifully brief, abduction.

Without going too far out on a limb, I think it's safe to say that he and his lizards will studiously ignore this bit (that is, if they don't simply resort to repeating their claims that the entire incident was staged):

[A] moment I had dreaded since moving to Iraq nine months earlier had arrived: kidnap. A potential death sentence for Iraqi staff as well as the foreign correspondents who are the targets. Since hostages started having their heads sawn off we have all been obsessed by it.

Because, in The World According to Charles (hereinafter TWATC), "al-Guardian" is not supposed to acknowledge that some hostages in Iraq have had their heads sawn off.

And this bit:
The driver, stocky and stubbly, turned with a toothy grin and said "Tawhid al-Jihad". Otherwise known as Abu Musab al-Zarqawi's al-Qaida in Iraq, the beheaders of Ken Bigley.

Because, in TWATC, "al-Gardayan" is not supposed to acknowledge that al-Qaeda terrorists can be found in Iraq, and that they are vicious, murderous thugs.

And this one:
American helicopters buzzed overhead but however hard I visualised it, no Rangers came shimmying down on ropes.

Because, in TWATC, everyone at "al-Ghardiyan" hates America, and especially its military.

And this one:
The headcutters are Sunni extremists but Sadr City is Shia, a rival Islamic sect, and the fiefdom of the radical cleric Moqtada al-Sadr.

We had gone there to follow Saddam Hussein's trial on television at the home of a family persecuted by his regime. The kidnappers had learned of our presence and lain in wait.

Because, in TWATC, "al-Gardiyan" adores Sunni extremists and would never refer to them as "headcutters." Nor would it ever admit that Saddam Hussein had ever persecuted anyone.

And this one:
Cuffed again and back in the gloom, it occurred to me that the British government's official position was not to negotiate with terrorists. Fingers crossed for the Irish government.

Because, in TWATC, "al-Ghardayaan," being a tool of the Caliphate, would never acknowledge the idea that some EUrabian governments are so thoroughly dhimmified.

And this one:
Haji fetched an English-language version of What is Islam, a summary of the faith by the late ayatollah Muhammad Shirazi. He appeared not to have read up on 60 things forbidden by Islam, pages 38-41, which include a ban on imprisoning someone unjustly.

Because, in TWATC, "al-Ghardhiyian" would never point out that some Muslims are hypocrites who pick and choose the bits of the Q'u'r'a'n' they happen to like, and ignore the rest.

A practice that is remarkably similar to the way that Charles Johnson reports the news.

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