Little Green Footballs

Friday, October 28, 2005

Hey, little buddies!

Someone somewhere thinks y'all should see the emails I've been sending to a certain person in order to resolve a certain issue.

We here at LGFW aim to please. So, here they are.

The first one, in its entirety:

I have never spammed anyone.

I am not orchestrating a spam campaign against anyone.

I condemn in the strongest possible terms anyone who engages in such behavior, and especially if they attack me in the process.

If you have something to tell me, tell me to my face. And if you're going to accuse me of spam attacks, provide proof. Otherwise, please retract your slanderous allegations.

Thank you.

Pretty vicious stuff! No wonder my correspondent is mad at me.

Here's the second one, also in its entirety, but with certain names redacted out:
I have not been attacking [name withheld]. Where did you get that idea? Perhaps someone has been posting comments using my nickname. In that case, please provide the IP address of that person so I can prove to you that I'm not responsible.

Why are you so concerned about defending [name withheld] anyway? Can't he defend himself?

And when you say "our site," what are you talking about? You have yet to identify it. I have no idea which site you're talking about.

Finally, your threat of lawsuits would be funny if it weren't so pathetic. You need help. Have you considered therapy?

OK, that last bit was a cheap shot. But warranted under the circumstances, wouldn't you say?

And finally, despite entreaties not to respond, I composed and sent a third email, which went like this:
Once again: You haven't told me *which* site is allegedly being targeted by spammers who are allegedly "controlled" (ha!) by us. There are lots and lots of pro-LGF sites out there. I'm not a mind reader, so I couldn't possibly guess which site you're talking about.

If people are doing that in our name, they need to stop. LGF Watch does not tolerate or condone comment spamming. In the past, as you probably know, we've been the target of incredibly persistent and copious spam attacks -- so much so that we had to turn comments off.

Incidentally, I've never posted on, or even visited, Indymedia. Yet another claim you can't prove.

There you have it -- the entire email correspondence between me and the person who's falsely accusing the LGF Watch team of orchestrating spam attacks. And in accordance with this person's request in a fourth email he sent me, which I won't post* -- because isn't this all getting rather tiresome? -- I will not be emailing him any more.

* No, really, I won't. Though I will drop a few hints: the latest missive contains the following words: [redacted] (it rhymes with 'punt'); crap, slanders, hallucinated (oh, the irony!), semantical, and the utterly baffling maktopia. As well as the phrase "screw you and the pink elephant you rode in on."

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