Little Green Footballs

Saturday, July 23, 2005

Thought exercise

Suppose you were Charles Johnson.

No, c'mon, it's OK. Just pretend for a minute that you're the person responsible for the seminal and fearless blog "Little Green Footballs," whose considerable reputation rests upon an unswerving devotion to the infallible rightness of the United States military; the 'libertarian' doctrines of Personal Responsibility and Freedom of Choice; and the unending glorification of Our Leader and his War on Evil™.

Now suppose you were faced with a news story like this one.

What would you do?

The normal reaction to such a tragic story among the reflexively "anti-idiotarian" right-wing élite would be one of the following:

1. Blame the drug users -- but that's not possible, unless they happen to be Muslim.

2. Shoot the messenger -- but that's not possible, because it's the Telegraph, a Tory paper.

3. Blame the situation in which the drug users find themselves -- but that's not possible, because that would violate the LGF Prime Directive, which goes like this: "Islam is the only source of Evil™ in the world, and thou shalt bloody well not question the wisdom of any policy pursued in the fight against Evil™, no matter how ill-conceived or ultimately counterproductive it might be."

4. Ignore it entirely.

I predict Charles -- the real one -- will go for option 4.

And I won't be wrong.

Thus endeth the exercise.


Pablo said...

Winston, are you named after Churchill?

It turns out that he's a rabid racist.

“Mohammedanism is a militant and proselytising faith,” he wrote after going into battle himself against the Dervishes, the followers of the Mahdi, the self-proclaimed prophet of Islam who had launched a mass rebellion to drive the infidels out of Egypt. Churchill writes as an enthusiastic imperialist, comparing the “fanatical frenzy” of the Mahdi’s followers to rabid dogs. But his analysis is more nuanced than the language suggests. He understood that extremism flourished amid the “fearful fatalistic apathy” in the Muslim world — precisely the apathy that Britain’s Muslim communities must now urgently combat. Rather than condemn the Dervishes as mere lunatics (as many of his contemporaries did), he sought to understand their suicidal bravery through the “mighty stimulus of fanaticism”.

I'd always thought the Churchill was an admirable bloke, a stalwart that outwilled one of the most horrific monsters this world has ever seen.

Now to ponder whether he's truly a rabid racist, or if he stood strong against two of the most horrific monsters the world has ever seen.

This might take a while.

Winston Smith said...

Please don't change the subject.

Iron Fist's Cat said...

Powderfinger, do you really not know who "Winston Smith" was?


It explains a lot.


dendragapus obscurus said...

I suppose this means the war on drugs™ is lost...?

dendragapus obscurus said...

That reminds me. Anybody remember the publicity drive shortly after the invasion of Afghanistan with the public burning of piles of smack? The irony was, it was US soldiers doing the burning.

Tony Blair also cited cutting the supply of heroin as one of the main reasons for the invasion of Afghanistan in October 2001, in addition to removing the Taliban regime:

'The arms the Taleban are buying today are paid for with the lives of young British people buying their drugs on British streets'
[2 October]

January 3, 2005:
'Afghanistan no longer serves as Al Qaeda's home base. Yet, it remains the source of no lesser an evil - the biggest heroin supply in the world. Since its liberation, Afghanistan's heroin production has risen to 5,000 tons from 640 tons, an increase of almost 800%, worth at least $7 billion. Afghanistan now supplies 87% of the world's heroin market and at least 90% of the heroin abused in Europe.'


Nice work, George & Tony.

Electronic Occupation said...

It sure must be stressful if the percentage of alcohol abusers in the military approaches that of civilian life.

Iron Fist's Cat said...

Apart from the threat to the troops of loads of smack, here's the bigger story:

AQ has access to BILLIONS in drug money.

9/11 cost 500,000.

If Chimpy had followed thru in Afghanistan, rather than haring off to Iraq....

The almost unlimited funding of AQ and the Taliban from drugs may turn out to be the biggest blunder yet of the Bushies.


Pablo said...

OMG! The military has people who do drugs?

I'm shocked! Shocked, I say. Have any of you ever served? Do any of you have any clue whatsoever as to the number and rate at which military personnel do drugs?

Any idea what the rate of alcohol incidents is this story is vs. the rates of peacetime alcohol incidents?

Charles probably won't report on this because it's not a story. If you can flesh it out to show some sort of trend, you might be able to make an argument. But the fact that soldiers drink and do drugs is not limited to Iraq and it isn't the least bit new.

So, Bush did this because Karl Rove told him to, right?

Pablo said...

Anyone care to comment on Churchill's comments?

According to the party line here, they seem to be what you'd call "rabid racist".

Is that right? Anyone?


Pablo said...

If Chimpy had followed thru in Afghanistan, rather than haring off to Iraq....

They wouldn't have blown up London! My, I'm smart! Where's my Nobel Genius Prize!

/it's one war, pussy.

Iron Fist's Cat said...

There was another reference on LGF today to "we fact-check your ass".

Yeah, right.

Unless it's Realwest telling a fake story about his father.

The only lizard brave enough to admit it was phony was Ed M***n.

Kudos to Ed M***n for that.

(***'s to respect his wish for staying anon).


Iron Fist's Cat said...

Powderfinger, you are so very dishonest in your defense of Bush.

If Bush hadn't hared off to Iraq, and had followed through in Afghanistan, there was some chance of stopping the poppy trade. Some significant fraction of 7 billion dollars going to A Q is a FUCKING DISASTER.

With that kind of money, you can buy anything. Even nukes.

Bush: Worst President Ever.

Pablo said...

Dude, you're high.

The worst president ever is Jimmy Carter. Had he acted like an American President 27 years ago, we'd be talking about stem cells instead of Islamofascism.

Second worst is George H.W. Bush for similar reasons.

Iron Fist's Cat said...

Well, we already knew that "realwest" was a liar and a coward. And didn't have the balls to fess up when he got caught fabricating a story about his father being a hero of 9/11. But this new post from him really needs spotlighting.

#150 realwest 7/23/2005 10:28:09 AM
#123 FabioC. - thanks for the information; I guess I was right about the Brits; they still don't feel any anger or at least aren't willing to demonstrate any feeling of anger over those subway or "tube" bombings. They deserve whatever happens to them.

58 dead.
700+ wounded and this pompous little FUCK says that?


Iron Fist's Cat said...

Any BRITS who would like to comment directly to asshole REALWEST

email him at

Pablo said...

Churchill? Anyone?

He didn't seem to like the muslims he was dealing with.

Does anyone here want to weigh in on that?

Is anyone here honest enough to weigh in on that?

Iron Fist's Cat said...


#150 realwest 7/23/2005 10:28:09 AM
#123 FabioC. - thanks for the information; I guess I was right about the Brits; they still don't feel any anger or at least aren't willing to demonstrate any feeling of anger over those subway or "tube" bombings. They deserve whatever happens to them.

His email is

What a fucking asshole.

Only one lizard (FabioC) had the decency to object to his vile comment.

Realwest, the lizard who didn't get his ass "fact-checked", and got away with an outrageous lie about 9/11, now insults the Brits,
54 dead
700 wounded

According to realwest, they "deserve it".

That's LGF for you.

Pablo said...

Winston said:

Please don't change the subject.

Now I'm confused. I thought that was cool here. What's up with that?

Pablo said...

Hey! I've got a great idea!

You should find out how many of our troops are masturbating, and then yell at Charles for not posting about it!

Hah ha! That would be soooo funny! PWNED!

Johnny Mainstream said...

This LGF Watch Watcher fellow really never does shut the fuck up, does he? He posts with the frequency of your typical pathetic LGFer -- yet he acts surprised when nobody responds to his witty barbs.

Wonder how much longer we'll have to ignore him until he gives up. Probably quite a while, is my guess.

millymollymandy said...

My friend says that anyone should be able to do drugs whenever they like. Especially soldiers from free countries. My daddy says its stressful shooting people sometimes and bombimg countries and if your smacked out of your head it easier to make snap life and death decisions cos you become less sensitized to reality i thinkj. Hi think also that policve officers and air traffic controllers should be able to get drunk whenever they like because they make fast decisions too. some people dont have a choice of jobs and have really hard jobs and drugs take the edge off. like them ones who shot the brazilian man in london town. the shoud take drugs to make them run faster like sports drugs or something.

even really really really disciplined people like soldiers should be able to do what they want sometimes. i know that becos being told what to do all the time upsests me too. its what makes our army so jealoused by other peoples. cos their freer. My dad ses LSD makes you think you have special skills like superman and i think thats good for soldiers.

wots masterbating?

MJ said...


Churchill was a racist. He also sent troops against his own people. There were many flaws in the mans character no matter what great things (and they were great things) he achieved.

What's your point? Stalin stood up to Hitler, does that make him any less a genocidal maniac? Does that make him less of a racist?

elemental-23 said...

LGW watch watcher,

At the same time Churchill made those comments, our country had segregated bathrooms, drinking fountains and schools. In fact we had such things almost up until the time of his death. So yeah he was a racist by todays standards. I understand how your simple mind can get confused by things like history and perspective, but when people don't answer your dumb as fuck posts it's usually because they're so stupid that nobody wants to waste their time and not because they can't answer you.

See when you take all the stupid shit you read off of the slime dwelling websites you wank off to and hold it up to the light it doesn't hold up real well. Go bother someone else.

Pablo said...

Wonder how much longer we'll have to ignore him until he gives up. Probably quite a while, is my guess.

First, you'd have to start ignoring me, Johhny. But you just can't help yourself.

Now look at old elemental here. This little fella has himself tied in a Gordian knot over me! You know that the only way out of that is to cut, right?

Here's the thing: Churchill nailed it. He was absolutely right, and the Dervishes he was referring to were absolutely rational and disciplined in comparison to oh, today's Palestinians.

Pablo said...

So yeah he was a racist by todays standards.

Against what race?

dendragapus obscurus said...

Oh fuck off Pablo you crank.

Pablo said...

Brilliant! Lovely hearing from you, old chap. Erudite as ever, I see. Many thanks for shining the light of your voluminous wisdom on the subject.

Fuck off, indeed. Brilliant.