Little Green Footballs

Thursday, December 18, 2003

Charles Johnson defends 'ghetto plan'

Charles Johnson, head of the Lizard Conspiracy service, said the lack of a successful suicide attack since the bombing of Maxim’s restaurant in Haifa on Oct 4 was “an illusory quiet” and unlikely to last.

He brushed aside international concerns, including those of President George W Bush and Tony Blair, that the ghetto, planned to be only a few hundred square miles in size when completed, had led to Palestinian humiliation and hardship. “The ghetto is imperative,” he said.

At the Hicksville Conference, a gathering of the Loony Little Bigots and Loony Big Bigots, Mr Johnson said existing sections of the ghetto, referred to as “the
West Bank” by most Israelis and “the shame” by its opponents, had saved many lives.

“If there had been no ghetto we would be holding this conference after a horrible attack in Yokne’am,” he said. “Palestinians would be free to roam the land and do things like grow olives and engage in commerce like other people. That would be unacceptable. So we have put them in the ghetto, for their own good I might say, in order to calm them down. If they spend a few generations in the ghetto, then those that are left and haven’t committed suicide (attacks) will be docile and accept everything we tell them, like that this whole land is ours and that they are intruders from another galaxy who have no right whatsoever to be here, much less be treated like real human beings.”


Tuesday, December 09, 2003

LGF only tells half the story (as usual)

Charles Johnson posts with glee a link to an article on the Jerusalem Post website, in which it is reported that Indymedia Israel is under investigation for the appearance on its newswire of a Latuff cartoon depicting Adolf Hitler kissing Ariel Sharon (

Interestingly though, Charles doesn't report the other case of graphic 'incitement' being investigated, despite the fact that it makes up the main part of the JPost article. This other case centres around pictures promoted by the pro-settler 'Women in Green' group, "depicting Industry, Trade, and Labor Minister Ehud Olmert stamping products from the territories with a nazi-era yellow 'Jude' Star of David, under the slogan 'Olmert caves in to the EU demands to label Israel's Yesha products.'"

The article goes on to say: "Deputy Internal Security Minister Ya'acov Edri (Likud) strongly condemned the posters and said he hopes the perpetrators are brought to justice.

"I see this as very serious, and I hope and believe the police will apprehend and arrest those behind it and bring them to justice," Edri said.

"When you make an extreme connection like that it is incitement and that is very dangerous," Edri continued. "It is making a clear connotation that Olmert is putting a yellow star on the settlers.""

So, as usual Mr Johnson is happy to condemn one side's 'incitement', but turns a blind eye if the other side does it.

Friday, December 05, 2003

Oh no, they're onto us!

OK folks, we've been found out. Those clever lizards at LGF have figured out who's behind their nefarious nemesis. "V the K" has outed Jean Teasdale, a fictional character from the Onion, as the author of this blog ( Game's up now I suppose. Or maybe not. Hehe. Maybe Jean is just a front for the Tarmigan conspiracy? And "V the K" knows a lot about Tarmigans, doesn't he? Some choice quotes found on a website run by V, that undisputed paladin of political incisiveness:

"1,400 years ago, the Human Galactic Commonwealth -- a family of colonies mankind seeded on 10,000 worlds over two millennia of galactic exploration -- collapsed. Why? No one knows for sure, but according to Legend, humanity's empire was destroyed by a superior alien race called the Tarmigans. This explanation, of course, begs a lot of question which Legend steadfastly refuses to answer. Foremost among them:
Why did the Tarmigans destroy Human Civilization?
How did they manage to destroy so many colonies, without any warning?
Where are the Tarmigans now?"

In other news, readers will be excited to learn that Charles Johnson has won 3rd Best Looking, 2nd Best Overall for his blog in the Warblogger Awards 2003 ( Yes, incest runs rampant in the warblogger family.

Tuesday, December 02, 2003

LGF up for an Oscar

Yes, dear readers, our beloved Little Green Foot Balls have scored another victory over the forces of terror: this time, by getting themselves nominated for the 2003 Weblog Awards at ... eh, Wizbang ( Anybody here heard of Wizbang? No? No. No? No, me neither. Sounds like a porn site to me. Wizbang? Wingbiz? Wankbuzz? Oh well, good luck Charles. Sure you'll win. After all, with the field open to such a dizzying array of talent as, eh, Andrew Sullivan (now where have I heard about him before...?), Buzzmachine, Instapundit - basically, the whole range of political opinions from right across the world. Every kind of weblog you can imagine, and right up there with the big boys is our little friend Charlie. Hold tight Charles. We're counting on you to fly the Lizard Flag high!